Oh, blog of mine. I don’t hate you.

December was pretty trying (I only cried twice) and I have spent the days so far in January just trying to get my shit together (I have only cried once so far).

Updates soon.

And here we are. 20 years later.

November 21, 2002 was when it all started.

When I acquired my first web address and started blogging, I never thought that I would keep at it this long. It seemed like a laugh at the time. But, slowly, people started reading my rambling about movies and theater and hikes and such. They stayed through several name changes in the early days, several domain name changes (cgm13.com to cgm13.net to theboywonder.net), and my migration from Blogger to WordPress. They even stayed through my (first) depression, my anxiety-laden years, and obsessive porn posts (with lots of hot naked men doing hot naked things with big, throbbing cocks). I met some really cool people via this blog. Some still speak to me and some don’t (which still kinda hurts). There have been some dry spells when I felt like I didn’t have anything going on that was exciting enough to post about. Those seem to happen more and more these days. Keeping an online blog seems quite old-fashioned in this age of Facebook/Insta/Twitter/TikTok. Honestly, there have been times that I have thought about bagging this site altogether. But, for some reason, I just can’t let it go. This blog is like an old friend. Some days I find myself reading back through the archives and remembering the good (and bad) times. I do kick myself now for some of the vague postings I did “back in the day” because I am older and can’t remember what a lot of the vaguery is about. I know readership isn’t what it used to be back in this blog’s heyday. I don’t care. This is really more for me than anyone else. But, if you are still around and checking in on me, it’s really appreciated. Let’s see if this thing lasts another 20 years.

Happy Birthday, oh blog of mine!

Hey all.

I am indeed still alive. June and July turned into quite the shitshow with having COVID and just dealing with the general crappiness of life right now. I guess I could go into lots of detail, but I don’t want to right now. Suffice it to say, I have been dealing with my usual feeling of inadequacy, unattractiveness, inability to be more assertive, the general stress of life and relationships, and a situation where I was lied to by a friend about a something I still harbor a lot of hard feelings about.

So, for the time being, I am going through the motions by putting on a smile and acting like everything is okay.

Anyhoo … I am still alive. I just need to get back in the posting rhythm!

Remember when I said, “It’s hard not to feel like the universe has it in for you when shit like this happens?”

This happened last weekend just in time to fuck over my first 3-day weekend of the year.

Yep. That’s a positive COVID test. I have been honestly surprised at the number of people who had no idea what this was. Maybe my friend circle doesn’t have the need to test themselves as much as David and I do? Who knows.

I guess I should count myself lucky that I made it into Year Three before getting it. But, it has really sucked even with being vaccinated and double boosted. I woke up sick last Saturday and it’s taken until today for me to feel halfway human again. I know, I know. I should count my blessings since so many people haven’t seen the other side of catching COVID.

But, this week, I feel like wallowing in self-pity because nothing ever seems to work out right anymore. This makes the second time this year that days off from work have been fucked over by illness. I also found out that expressing hurt feelings can fuck you over because nobody listens or wants to take the time to actually talk to you about what’s going on before they dismiss you as a complainer or someone with ill intent.

Okay. That is enough vague whining. It’s time I snuggle back down into the black hole of COVID isolation.