You know … if I were a vampire I wouldn’t do things the sterotypical way, like our good friend Dracula did. I wouldn’t prey upon the young and attractive so they could be my nocturnal slaves for all eternity. I would be one of those super-evil vampires. I would deliver terrible and horrific deaths to all I deem need (and deserve) such. A few would be converted to do my bidding because a super-evil vampire does need some minions. But don’t worry, cute gay internet bloggers! You will be safe from my wrath and reign of destruction.