When TNT announced it’s new miniseries version of “‘Salem’s Lot” it sounded like a dream come true … especially boasting a cast featuring Rob Lowe, Donald Sutherland, Rutger Hauer, Samantha Mathis and James Cromwell. But, even that cast can’t save this pile of smelly poop. I am a huge fan of the book. Maybe that’s my main problem. But even so, this version is filled with so many plot holes and jumps and general silliness. Your loved one turned into a vampire? Well, don’t kill her ’cause she just might revert back to human! Someone trying to blackmail you? Well, forget those vampires for a few and pay off that debt! Your vampire master has been destroyed? Hey, you can always go to Detroit and work in a soup kitchen! Argh. It’s just more “horror” for today’s ADD television viewer. Skip it.