Things that I learned some this round of horror:
1) Ghosts of southerners from 1865 know how to drive cars and use telephones.
2) No matter how fast you run the killer always knows the terrain better than you. Duh.
3) Matthew McConaughey needs to do an entire film wearing nothing but tighty whities.
4) Don’t turn into a werewolf on national television. Nobody will believe it really happened.
5) Monsters don’t always want to kill you. Sometimes they just want to fuck you.
6) Small town sheriffs are always hot-headed and ruggedly handsome. Yum!