Yeah. I got totally suckered by that tag line “Old School American Horror.” “New School Cookie Cutter American Horror/Comedy Schlock” would have been more appropriate. “Hatchet” is so by the numbers that it hurt watching it.

When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.

The premise for getting our cast of carbon copy victims (hard of gold guy that’s just been dumped by his long term girlfriend, his goofy best friend, feisty heroin, slutty girls, etc.) into the spooky swamp is laughably stupid. The killer’s back story is laughably stupid. The dialogue is laughably stupid. The kills are laughably uninspired.

Bottom Line:
Don’t get suckered by that tag line like it did!!! If you really want some true “old school,” go for the original versions of “Black Christmas” or “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”