So, in the spirit of that “Back to Blogging ’06” post I did a while back … I offer you my un-edited (bad spelling and bad grammar intact!) rant about last night’s “orchestra” rehearsal that was e-mailed to Franke this morning.

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Despair?

Me?

I cried on the way home last night. I nearly had a panic attack in the wee hours of the morning. I have been on the verge of tears all morning.

I feel like we got fucked last night … FUCKED … and that I as head of this whole fiacso should have had a better handle on what needed to be done to make it better. Maybe there was nothing that I (as leader) could have done. I was told by Anne that the Orchestra was going to be there last night. That they would practice from 6:30 until 7:30 on thing. As you well know, we had THREE of the SEVEN people. Melodie, after everyone was gone, sounded like TONIGHT was when she had told everyone to be there. Then why the hell was Anne saying TUESDAY then? Melodie was all “You have a paying audience on Thursday? If I had known that I would have had the ochestra in here on Monday.” WTF?!?!? I told Anne that we had to have it performance ready by Thurday weeeeks ago. Apparently she didn’t share that with Mel and Mel didn’t share ANYTHING about the her orchestra scheduling with Anne.

So, last night was the biggest cluster fuck EVER … and really totally pointless and a waste of everyone’s time considering we were missing four people from the pit.

I should have been a more active participant between the two of them. Then maybe I could have REALLY known what the fuck was going on. Ignorance of what was really going on is my fault. Actually trusting that Anne/Mel were doing what they said they would is also my fault.

NOW as a result of all this shit … we are stuck tonight without being able to really stop and start for those new orchestra members. Because YOU ALL need to run the show as a whole tonight before you really have to hit it tomorrow.

PLUS … we have the added bonus of a lead guy who (in my opinion) isn’t going to be able to sing the show. You heard him last night. He was struggling just after two songs … and he sings the entire fucking show.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

So ….

Despair?

Me?

Not all.

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Looking back at it seems silly to have gotten so worked up over last night’s “orchestra rehearsal” which really didn’t happen. But, who knows … maybe it isn’t silly to expect for what you have been told will happen to happen.

I’ll just have to see how tonight goes.