It’s now been suggested that Steve, Libba and I go and meet with the Town Manager and Town Lawyer to have an “informal” discussing about “The Full Monty” and what exactly we can hash out about making sure the show happens. The idea being that we resolve it that way instead of trying to ammend the existing ordinance. My main concern in all this is that if we sanitize the show too much … well, what’s the point in having picked it?

If we try and ammend the ordinance it will make things more public and thus possibly raise the ire of one of the local baptist churches (yeah, those whacky baptists). This particular church succeded a few years ago in getting a play at one of the local high schools cancelled because it contained … shocker! … witches. Forget the fact that the play was a comedy and being done at Halloween. So, suffice it to say, we don’t want these folks to get involved. More as the saga unfolds …

This would be a “violation.”

Yup. That legalize is the “official” town stance on public “nudity.” But in answer to some questions, the show will go on.

It’s all pretty irritating. I was supposed to direct “Cabaret” this fall and that has been put off until next year because the Executive Director was all hot to get the rights for this year for “The Full Monty.” But, apparently, nobody thought to check and see if there might be an ordinance on the books that would keep us from doing a show about strippers. Now we are stuck having to sweat just what the town officials are going to say and whether we will get to do the show as written or if we will have to “cheat” certain parts of the show.

Those of you who know the show, know that there is nothing overly bad or gratuitous in it. A few bare butts here and there … and that’s about it. All told there’s probably 2 minutes maximum of bare “anything” in the entire 2+ hour show. The current law assures that the actor’s removing their clothes to the point of breaking the law would be fined (plus possibly arrested) and the theater could be closed down.

See, the ordinance was done a several years back to keep strip clubs from starting up in town. That really doesn’t bother me, because I find strip clubs to be silly and kinda pointless. It’s also good to have something on the books to keep people from flashing their goodies at you on Main Street. But the current wording on the books is rather silly as you can’t flash some butt but you can have a woman topless as long as her nipples and areola are covered. And it’s not like we are doing “Naked Boys Singing.” I would understand the town having a problem with a show like that.

There are a few things in the works right now to see what can be done to make the show can play as written … it’s just going to take a few weeks to know what the ultimate fate for “The Full Monty” will be.

Section 130.04 Acts Prohibited in a Public Place

A) It shall be unlawful for any person to knowingly or intentionally, in a public place:

1. Engage in sexual intercourse;
2. Appear in a state of nudity; or
3. Fondle the genitals of himself/herself or another person.

B) It shall be unlawful for the owner or operator of any place of entertainment, including a restaurant, club, dance hall, or any other public establishment of any kind, to allow or permit any waiter or waitress, dancer, entertainer, or any other employee or visitor of such establishment to perform any of the acts listed in such establishment.

C) Nudity means the showing of the human male or female genitals, pubic area, or buttocks with less than a fully opaque covering; the showing of the female breast with less than a fully opaque covering of any part of the nipple and areola, or the showing of covered male genitals in a discernible turgid state.

D) Violations of this section shall be a misdemeanor punishable upon conviction by a fine not exceeding $50 or by imprisonment not exceeding 30 days. With respect to division (A) above, each separate incident shall constitute a separate offense. With respect to division (B) above, each day’s violation shall constitute a separate offense.

*************
This ordinance get bonus points for referring to an erect cock as “male genitals in a discernible turgid state.” Now, that’s funny.