The laziness continues! I am now finally getting around to posting about MonsterFest 2011 which happened in the wilds of North Florida with Dr. Phibes and Co. over the days of October 20th – 24th.

Last year, I stated that it was the laziest MonsterFest ever … and I must say that this year probably rivaled that. That’s not a bad thing either. Vacations are for laziness. But, we weren’t lazy on that Sunday and rode down to St. Augustine for a look around (pictures to follow sometime soon).

Past that we relaxed, ate junk food, drank beer, napped, ate junk food, drank beer and (most importantly) watched horror movies!

Here’s a list of what we watched:
“House of Wax” (2005)
“Satan’s Slave”
“Red State” (which isn’t really a horror movie)
Elvira’s Movie Macabre “The Werewolf of Washington”
“El Orfanato”
“The Ghoul”
“I Spit On Your Grave” (1978)
“The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue”
“Piranha” (2010)
“The House by the Cemetery”
“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2”
MST3K “The Touch of Satan”
“Just Before Dawn”
“Revenge of the Creature”
“Slither”
“Anthropophagus”
“Night Gallery” (Pilot Episode)
and
Episodes 1 & 2 of “The Walking Dead” Season Two

As always, big-ups to Dr. Phibes and Co. for a great time.

So, yeah. I was pretty excited when the preview for FX’s new series “American Horror Story” hit a few months ago. How quickly that excitement waned when the pilot episode finally aired at the beginning of October. Within that one hour, there were so many genre elements and plot devices. I wondered if the “everything but the kitchen sink” approach was a way to hook viewers and that subsequent episodes would be more focused. Sadly, after four more more episodes, it’s pretty obvious that’s not the case.

I am not sure if the creators/writers think that piling on so much actually makes for a good show. It doesn’t. Not only do we have the (crappy) extra marital affair family drama going on … we have an emo/suicidal daughter, a creepy neighbor that pops up at any given opportunity (apparently none of the doors have locks that can keep this woman out), a monster in the basement, a potential demon baby AND there are ghosts running around of just about everyone that has set foot in house before the previous owners did.

How about our family? Honestly, these are really characters you could care less about. The wife, Vivien (played by Connie Britton), is unemotional and just plain dull. The husband, Benjamin (played by Dylan McDermott), is either yelling or crying or yelling AND crying his problems (he cheated on the wife) to complete strangers. The daughter, Violet (played by Taissa Farmiga), is just emo for no real reason other than her character needs some sort of hook. And it doesn’t help that all our lead characters behave irrationally and there are HUGE jumps in logic in their thinking and actions at just about every turn.

Even the secondary characters are pretty bad. Jessica Lange does all she can but she can’t save every episode single handed. And poor Dennis O’Hare is just … [Chas. shakes head because Mr. O’Hare so underused with such a dumb character.]

I find the way the ghosts are treated to be questionable. Apparently, these ghosts can roam all over the city, be seen by everyone and interact with everyday objects. How would you like to have a ghost maid that can sweep and dust your house AND make you lunch? Could be pretty sweet because you wouldn’t have to pay her! And I won’t even get started on (what I found to be) the super offensively stereotypical gay couple that owned the house previously. There’s nothing quite like have a gay ghost running around your house shrieking about how badly you have decorated the place. Seriously.

The music the show uses is also a big problem. The creative team has apparently felt that it was wise to license a bunch of Bernard Herrmann‘s music. So, far they have cribbed from “Psycho,” “Vertigo” and “Twisted Nerve.” It’s a shame really. When you hear music from famous movies playing over scenes, it just serves to remind you of those better movies that the music came from. Maybe they are doing this to pay homage? Whatever the reason though, it just doesn’t work.

I have some friends who have been watching this show and think that it’s great and that it’s super scary. I just don’t get that. It’s an annoyingly bland mix of generic horror genre elements that relies on a too many cheap scares. Really, it’s more laughable than anything else … and that makes me sad. I was looking forward to another good “horror” television show. I guess I will just have to stick with “The Walking Dead.”

Because the only thing horrifying about “American Horror Story” is just how really bad it is.