{"id":2610,"date":"2008-01-07T14:48:59","date_gmt":"2008-01-07T19:48:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cgm13.net\/wordpress\/?p=2610"},"modified":"2008-01-07T14:48:59","modified_gmt":"2008-01-07T19:48:59","slug":"hatchet-some-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/?p=2610","title":{"rendered":"Hatchet: Some Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Hatchet\" title=\"Hatchet\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theboywonder.net\/images\/08114.jpg?w=660\" \/><br \/>\nYeah. I got totally suckered by that tag line &#8220;Old School American Horror.&#8221; &#8220;New School Cookie Cutter American Horror\/Comedy Schlock&#8221; would have been more appropriate. &#8220;<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.hatchetmovie.com\/\"><strong>Hatchet<\/strong><\/a>&#8221; is so by the numbers that it hurt watching it.<\/p>\n<p><em>When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The premise for getting our cast of carbon copy victims (hard of gold guy that&#8217;s just been dumped by his long term girlfriend, his goofy best friend, feisty heroin,  slutty girls, etc.) into the spooky swamp is laughably stupid. The killer&#8217;s back story is laughably stupid. The dialogue is laughably stupid. The kills are laughably uninspired.<\/p>\n<p>Bottom Line:<br \/>\nDon&#8217;t get suckered by that tag line like it did!!! If you really want some true &#8220;old school,&#8221; go for the original versions of &#8220;<strong><a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Black_Christmas_(1974_film)\">Black Christmas<\/a><\/strong>&#8221; or &#8220;<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/The_Texas_Chain_Saw_Massacre\"><strong>Texas Chainsaw Massacre<\/strong><\/a>.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yeah. I got totally suckered by that tag line &#8220;Old School American Horror.&#8221; &#8220;New School Cookie Cutter American Horror\/Comedy Schlock&#8221; would have been more appropriate. &#8220;Hatchet&#8221; is so by the numbers that it hurt watching it. When a group of tourists on a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-horror"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8EnCu-G6","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2610"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2610\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}