{"id":2389,"date":"2007-04-25T21:58:54","date_gmt":"2007-04-26T02:58:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.cgm13.net\/wordpress\/?p=2389"},"modified":"2007-04-25T21:58:54","modified_gmt":"2007-04-26T02:58:54","slug":"i-need-rehab-defined","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/?p=2389","title":{"rendered":"I Need Rehab (Defined)"},"content":{"rendered":"

DVD Addiction is a fairly common problem in today’s society. The DVD addict is easily able to feed his or her addiction because of the ridiculously short distance between said addict and the DVD retailer (hereafter referred to as “the dealer”). The DVD junkie is attracted to “the dealer” primarily because or his\/her love of film, but also lured with promises of “special features” and “technological advances”. The addict initially only wants a few films for his\/her small collection; but in due time he\/she will return to “the dealer” for more “hits” (such as “The Godfather Trilogy” and “Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs”) and is soon hooked. Telltale signs of the addict include frequent bitching about pan and scan, habitual visits to Best Buy on Tuesdays (“new release day”, in street slang) and an unhealthy longing for a 100 inch widescreen HDTV and a massive Dolby Digital\/DTS decoder and speaker setup with 6.1 EX and ES capability. Late in the addiction, the sanity of the addict will deteriorate; he\/she will make illogical purchases of bad films like “Bring It On” because “the 1.85\/1 Anamorphic transfer is sparkling and it has some nice extras”.<\/em><\/p>\n

There are amazingly no rehab clinics yet available for these sad and pathetic beings. The only way to stop a DVD addict from self destruction is to change the nature of the addiction by giving them something less addicting for a short while (like “crack” or heroin). Once the addict is fully recovered, ease them back into the realm of consumer electronics slowly; addiction recovery can be a painful thing! Eventually, visit a well known “dealer” with the former addict on a Tuesday; if he\/she does not go into a psychotic frenzy and start grabbing DVDs off the shelves, you should feel proud and congratulate yourself for saving the world from the clutches of another DVD addict.<\/em>
\n[via Franke and Everything2<\/strong><\/a>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DVD Addiction is a fairly common problem in today’s society. The DVD addict is easily able to feed his or her addiction because of the ridiculously short distance between said addict and the DVD retailer (hereafter referred to as “the dealer”). The DVD junkie is attracted to “the dealer” primarily because or his\/her love of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dvd"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8EnCu-Cx","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2389"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2389\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theboywonder.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}